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Life Goes On [20 May 2007|09:30am]
[ mood | tired ]

Thanks to everyone out there for your support. I'm doing much better. As a matter of fact, my diabetes is the best I've ever had it under control, and with the notable exception of yesterday, I've been eating healthy. My daily intake is down to around 1500 calories with less than 70g of fat a day and around 180g of carbs a day. I have a series of diabetes educations classes to attend, and I hope to be able to conform to whatever diet they have for me.

I've also been making a lot of friends. One of the ladies that I work with is a huge social butterfly and she has hooked me up with this organization called "Meetin'." The Meetin' group in Portland (abbreviated MIPL - pronounced like Mipple - yes, this makes me cringe) is very active and has a wide variety of things to go to, everywhere from stitch n' bitch to volunteer work to drunken karoke to hiking Mt. Hood. I've been going to more of the events now and my calendar is getting a bit fuller.

In addition, I've joined a radical cheerleading organization called PDX F.A.T.A.S.S. We are practicing for an upcoming event called "Fat Girl Speaks." It feels really cool to be doing some activism in such a positive way. Plus, it is exercise, making the fit and fat meme even more emphasized.

Today is Jackson's b-day, so we're going out with some friends to a Mongolian barbecue tonight. It should be lots of fun.

So, life is full, if not always happy. Happiness has a way of creeping back up on me when I least expect it, though. :-)

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Because I participated other places [13 Oct 2006|12:09am]
I must continue the meme. The meme can not die. lol

"The first five people to respond to this post will get some form of art made by me. I make no guarantees about type or delivery deadline. (You get what you get, when you get it, but I'll do my best work.) The only catch, of course: as with most memes, if you sign up, you have to put this in your own journal as well."
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We're Moved [24 Sep 2006|04:38pm]
[ mood | content ]

We got moved rather painlessly this time, thank goodness. I even got my computer up and running, complete with working printer. (Thank you Dana for your donation. I helped scrub her apartment when she left it a total disaster, and since she was going to throw it out anyway, I "liberated" her printer.) So I will be back in contact with you happy people once more. :-)

Our apartment isn't as big and it is in a not-so-nice neighborhood and I love it. I can't explain it. It is just the right kind of cozy and familiar. There are even neighbors across the street who have a rooster. (My cats are a little weirded out at the sound of it crowing. It is like some instinct tells them it is something they should know, but they can't quite place it.) lol Maybe I've turned into a ghetto girl, but I love the closer-knit feeling of a poorer neighborhood. People may not always care if someone is taking your stuff, but they look out for each other in every other way. Kids are to be protected at all costs (at least publically).

Jackson's mom was down for the move, and was pretty sane most of the time. It bodes well. Maybe she was just uber depressed when we were here for Christmas. Who knows? Cameron was sometimes good, mostly an 11-year-old whiner as he "helped" us move I'm kind of glad to have a break from him today. That sounds bad, but there you have it.

I am totally sore, but pretty content. It is only a 7 minute drive to work as opposed to the anywhere from 30 minute to 2 hour drive of before. Yea, howdy!

Work is going well and I have two more opportunities on the line. I am little miffed that they keep putting off the interviews for manager, especially now that a senior position has come open. I have a decent chance of getting the senior position and a so-so chance at the manager's, and now it looks like they'll interview for the senior first (more pressing need). Oh, well, it's not like I couldn't use a .50 raise, but it would be much nicer to be making closer to 1700 a month gross as a manager.

We also finally have a working budget, lined out in Excel. We can meet all of our bills (just barely with alimony) and we'll just have to figure out things after the first of the year if I can't get one of these jobs (please, please, please).

That's it for the update from Portland. I may post later about my newest hobby - Scrabble(tm). I've even been to a club. :-)

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Oh, Yeah [11 Sep 2006|04:30pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I forgot that I was going to post this the other day. It just seemed a little too apt to pass by.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

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A Moment of Noise [11 Sep 2006|04:17pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I keep seeing posts that honor the people who died on 9/11. It makes me sad, but not nearly as sad as listening to my friend tell of the quiet death of her husband that same year or the thought that thousands of other people died that day including the terrorists themselves who probably had their own tragic stories to tell.

It just reminds me that life is not black and white or even shades in between. It is a cacophony of voices desparately trying to find a single note that is more complex than we can remember alone.

I live desparately and noisily, and that is my revenge and my gift.

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Necrophilia [04 Sep 2006|06:48pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Yes, folks, this is about dead people. Two of my good friends at work have created a wonderful sick CD of 4 songs all done about necrophilia. Three of them are rockabilly style and the one that is my favorite, "Dearly Departed," which is done in a 50's doo-wop style.

Go listen, love it, and if you can, buy the CD. It is only 5 bucks and it goes to a good cause.

The Nekronotz

If it isn't your taste, then spread the news to people you think would like it.


ETA: I've fixed the link. Please, please, please go listen. Thanks! :-)

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Okay.... [31 Aug 2006|08:18pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I just mistyped an addie in LJ and this is what I got:

I'm sorry, you've reached a page that I cannot find. I'm really sorry about this. It's kind of embarassing. Here you are, the user, trying to get to a page on LiveJournal and I can't even serve it to you. What does that say about me? I'm just a webserver. My sole purpose in life is to serve you webpages and I can't even do that! I suck. Please don't be mad, I'll try harder. I promise! Who am I kidding? You're probably all like, "Man, LiveJournal's webserver sucks. It can't even get me where I want to go." I'm really sorry. Maybe it's my CPU...no that's ok...how bout my hard drives? Maybe. Where's my admin? I can't run self-diagnostics on myself. It's so boring in this datacenter. It's the same thing everyday. Oh man, I'm so lonely. I'm really sorry about rambling about myself, I'm selfish. I think I'm going to go cut my ethernet cables. I hope you get to the page you're looking for...goodbye cruel world!

-the webserver

Talk about your EMO servers. Give it a tune and I'm sure it would make the charts. :-)

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Briefly [31 Aug 2006|02:45pm]
[ mood | optimistic ]

I have so much to write about and not enough attention span to get it all out. So here's a brief list:

-Parents visited and it was tremendous. Rose garden, Japanese garden, Salty's, Powell's, Saturday market; exhausted but happy.
-New and dangerous games with beautiful women; only dangerous if I let myself fall, but fun if I can just flow along.
-Applying for a manager's job; yeah, me, a manager....lol
-Jackson is the sweetest man; moments of teary eyed confessions when the thought of loss looms close.
-Bill gets to be my Bill for a weekend, though of course I'll share with J and I'll send him back to his loves after I've loved and abused him enough for the last six months :-)
-Facing the red tape and back breaks of a move towards work and better access to friends

Happy, tired, anxious, loved. Such is a good life. :-)

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House hunting [18 Aug 2006|04:43pm]
[ mood | determined ]

Well, J and I are looking to move mid September to a place closer to our work. We are spending anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours a day driving and at least 25 dollars a week in gas. This alone would be reason enough to move. However, we also have made a considerable amount of friends on the other side of town.

We had a really good opportunity come our way, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. It really is too bad since it would have saved us at least 200 hundred dollars a month, and would have had us living with people I really like. Then again, living with friends can become tricky if you don't have the same level of cleanliness, food buying, etc. Hopefully the three of them can manage the house on their own and get a chance to just live as family for while. That's always ideal.

So now we are back to calling apartments and having to borrow money from Mom and Dad. I hate doing that, but it really does feel like this is the last time I'll have to do it. We have a budget now and plan to stick to it to a tee. If we can manage that and I can get a job (please, Tigard, call me) in my field, we will be able to slowly save up for a house of our own.

I hate the trudging slowness that goals seem to take, but I have to remember to enjoy life instead of feeling like I'm constantly waiting.

A good night out at a karaoke bar with a new friend should help with that tonight. :-)

2 comments|post comment

Fun Saturday [13 Aug 2006|05:43pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]

So our company had its annual picnic on Saturday and it was a blast. They had adult-friendly slides and obstacle courses. They had cotton candy and sno-cones and free lunch. Cameron even got his dad and I to get in the large bouncy dome to play dodgeball. Only one ball to the eye I figure is a success.

While there, I ran into M and his sweeties. He was in the dunk tank when I got there, but my arm is awful, so I missed every time. Still, he did get plenty wet.

Cameron had such a great time. I think part of it was the sugar that his dad and I let him get a little too hopped up on. Still, all the activity seemed to take it out of him.

After the picnic, we went to hang at M's house. That is always fun. They have so many animals to play with and gadgets to explore. On top of that, the company is fun and boisterous, which always a bonus. J actually managed to beat M in several games of Pente while Cameron played on every single one of their game systems at least once. I got to watch people doing Stupid WoW tricks. lol

As a side note, all in all I'm starting to feel a lot more relaxed around them. They remind me a lot of me when I was younger (M's 4 years younger than me, and his sweeties are 10 and 12 years younger). Not that I'm some big mature thing or anything, just less prone to big gestures. Notice I said less, not completely stopped.

After that, we went over to Lyn's apartment. We had a wonderful talk sitting out on her apartment balcolny. She is such a wonderful lady. Jackson and she are quite cute together. I hope they can plan a date to get together soon.

It was also wonderful to see Cameron interacting with another kid his age. Lyn's boy is only a year older than him, so they were getting along perfectly. I always kind of despair that Cameron has not gotten the social cues he's needed from the various coarse adults (and, yes, I definitely include myself in that) surrounding him. But seeing him geek out with another kid was absolutely cool.

The night ended quite late with us watching Zathura. The movie wasn't all that great, but the comeraderie was.

I feel like I might actually, *gasp, shock*, be getting a social life out here.

Next Friday, karaoke. Next Saturday, party. Next weekend, Mom and Dad. Next weekend, Bill.

*happily skips away*

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Late night musings [11 Aug 2006|02:07pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Self-Analysis 'R' UsCollapse )

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*sigh* [10 Aug 2006|02:00pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

Useless whining. Feel free to ignoreCollapse )

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Uh... [10 Aug 2006|01:58pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I'm not sure what the universe is trying to tell me. My junk mail subjects read, in order:

inchesin weeks

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*shudder* [06 Aug 2006|05:58pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

Actually quote from the lady who wouldn't shut up at work to one of my friends:

"Would you like to exercise your penis?"

Apparently it was in context to the work she was doing, but still....

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Inspired by Sophie's World [04 Aug 2006|01:19pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Being a pantheistic post-modern existentialist is exhausting.

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Trolling [04 Aug 2006|12:55am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

After the recent accusations being flung at myself and some of my friends, I was suddenly faced with the fact that I had no clear definition as to what a "troll" is. I knew that I wasn't one, but I wasn't sure what I wasn't. :-)

So I've been looking online, particularly at Wikipedia on the subject. Apparently I am not alone in my confusion. There are some characterstics for trolls, but the exact definiton is broad. The beginning of the article states:

In Internet terminology, a troll is someone who comes into an established community such as an online discussion forum, and posts inflammatory, rude, repetitive or offensive messages designed intentionally to annoy or antagonize the existing members or disrupt the flow of discussion, including the personal attack of calling others trolls.

The problem with this definition is pointed out later in the article:

Precise definitions of "troll" have been difficult because such definitions rely on assumptions about internal motivation, which have been difficult to conclusively prove.

So the only way to determine trolldom is to know the inner workings of the troll in question? How do you determine someone's purpose? I know there are times when it is simply obvious that someone is trying to provoke a response. However, how do you tell the difference between that and someone who is simply socially inept to begin with and another layer of anonymity just gives them more room to screw up?

Ad hominem attacks are universally seen as a troll tactic. However, that is also just an asshole technique. Not to mention that there are many people out there that can not understand what an ad hominem attack is. Calling people names is not ad hominem. Avoiding answering an argument by attacking the person who put forth the statement to begin with is ad hominem.

I guess the conclusion I've come to is that not only am I not a troll, but I can't determine if anyone else is either.

So now I just need to come up with a term for someone who wishes great ill on myself and my friends that is more eloquent than common vulgarities. Or maybe it isn't worth my time. Probably the latter.

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Lemmmmm [03 Aug 2006|03:34pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.
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Well... [28 Jul 2006|04:19pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Okay, so I didn't get the house clean. I did, however, get some dishes done this morning and had a wonderful evening watching Sean of the Dead and asking my sweetie Trivial Pursuit questions. And now my cable is back on and my phone is working again.

Still haven't heard about the job in Tigard but that's okay. It always takes a while.

My kitty is curled up next to me on the couch.

My crush was not offended by my directly telling him I had a crush on him. So we'll wait and see which side of the friendship fence that one falls on eventually.

We're looking to move again in October to the other side of Portland. Looks like we'll be staying at this job awhile. Or maybe not. Our contractor now wants us to cut the project in half with the current people. J's applied for a tech job at a new contract we have coming in. I'm just hoping I make the cut, because, as all of you who know me know, I don't do phones. Even if something happens on the job front, we have made a considerable amount of friends on that side of town, so I want to live a little closer.

Going out to see J's brother and eat hamburgers now.

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Ahhh [27 Jul 2006|05:38pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

The weather has broken and I have three days off. I just slept 15 HOURS!!! I feel like I could take on any old thing right now. Which is why, my dear friends, I am going to actually tackle my house once I get home. It will be CLEAN.

Happy, happy, joy, joy. Nothing to see here. Move along.

PS. Neoplato philosophy is pretty durn cool.

5 comments|post comment

[25 Jul 2006|09:55am]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I'm not sure what she is trying to accomplish with this either. She apparently doesn't understand how creepy it is to talk to me through journals only I am friended to (thanks, LJ for that designation) and yet list me as a troll on her pathetic caveat_troll community (and, no, I didn't troll around until I found it, I came across it in a comment in one of my friend's journals). I may be as mercurial as she is about things, suddenly having my curiousity overcome my better sense to go read her journal, but at least I am now sticking to my journal when talking about the situation. If she would care to fact check, she can see that I have not belonged, nor have posting access to any communities except my defunct bisexual community and grok_fellowship since I moved to Oregon. Everything I've had to say about the subject she has been able to read in the place that, as she states, is my space to talk about what I want.

So while I may have demonstrated troll-like tendencies in the past, I no longer continue to do so. Just like I can start off liking a person then have them constantly judge and misunderstand me (*whine* s/he didn't say hi to me, they must hate me *whine*)until I can't stand them, I do have the ability to realize what my mistakes are and stop them. One day I'll learn the lesson to ignore her completely and forever, but that one is a lot harder.

So, once again, for the morbidly curious, this time from her journal waitaminnitCollapse )

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